Reeeeseees Peeeeseees

My brother moved out last year and my sister is away at college most of the time, so it’s a rare occasion that the whole family gets together for dinner. My sister’s boyfriend joined us and I’m pretty sure he was entertained by more than just my burping prowess.

Family dinners consist of:

Making fun of my technology challenged mom – My brother had yet another new phone and she decided she was going to use it to take a picture of us. Instead of looking at the screen she held the phone up to her eye backwards.

Teasing my Dad about getting old – He’s starting to swear in his old age. So as soon as a shit, damn or hell comes out of his mouth we turn into a bunch of truckers cursing at everything.

Making fun of each other – My mom grilled bananas, plums and pineapple which we mixed with blueberries, chocolate syrup, ice cream, and Reese’s Pieces. After passing the candy around we realized that we say Reesee’s Peesees, which sounds fine until you repeat peesees and then you sound like a dumbass.

Best quote of the night (in case you missed it on Twitter) – John: “This tofu tastes like barbecue pancakes.”

I laughed so much last night I was on the verge of tears multiple times.

Navigation

My mom and I had planned to walk through houses tomorrow morning, but now it looks like I’m on my own. She has a bit of an issue driving herself more than 20 miles away from home unless it’s a well-traveled route to her mom’s or sisters’ houses. She assumed I would be driving. Yeah, I want to drive 25 minutes to Ferndale, 25 minutes home, and then 40 minutes to work in a span of about 30 minutes. Not to mention Ferndale is about 15 minutes from work. “How will I find my way home?” she asked. Uhhh….take the one road that goes pretty much from our house straight into Ferndale

This reminds me of when I needed a ride to the airport. Yes, I could have driven myself, but who wants to pay for parking for 5 days? Again she didn’t think she could figure out how to get home. Two highways! It’s so easy.

My mom is a very self-sufficient woman, I cannot understand how printing a map and finding her way to a location 20 miles from home can seem so difficult.

I’m the only person in this family with any sense of direction. Actually now that I think about it, I must have ended up with everyone else’s sense of direction. It’s all starting to make sense.

On a totally random note…how to all these celebrities wear such low cut tops without giving a peep show? If I wore a shirt like that and moved at all it would be like ‘hey! look at my nipples!’ Is there a lot of adhesive involved? Magnetic boobs? I need their secrets.

Spring Cleaning

This morning I half-jokingly told my sister I’d pay her $10 to clean my room, which has looked like an explosion for the past two months. She’s a college student and job hunting so she was interested.

I had completely forgotten about the offer until I came home from work, walked into my room and stopped short because it was SPOTLESS. I can’t remember what all was on the floor, but I’m sure I’ll be searching for a few things in the next week.

I’d say it was 10 bucks well spent. I wonder what else I can pay her to do…

Jumperoo

Smell Mop

Went to lunch with Dan P. today at Inn Season. I always forget how much I love going to restaurants where I can eat everything on the menu and I don’t have to ask for them to take stuff off my food. I told Dan he needs to keep bugging me to travel with him because I really want to go to India and he’s already been there a bunch of times. He’s pretty fearless when it comes to traveling. He’s been all over the world…I’ve never been west of Chicago.

After lunch I went to Aunt Cheryl’s for Mother’s Day / Grandma’s b-day. I think we were extra loud today and the entire fam wasn’t even there. It started with the sisters making fun of Aunt Sue’s cackling laugh. Then they thought it would be hilarious for them all to imitate it for the rest of the night…all four of them plus Grandma laughing like banshees.

We played wii and I held my 6 month old cousin for the first time. (Not a fan of holding babies) I held him out in front of me and he jumped up and down on my lap for a while. I got a pretty good workout from the wii boxing and baby holding.

And then there was the knock knock joke, which was still funny after the fifth time. Especially when Grandma had to repeat ’smell mop who’ to herself to figure it out.

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Smell mop?

Smell mop who?

I don’t want to smell your poo!!

I’m really excited for B to meet my family. There are about 30 of us and we are hilarious. I have more inside jokes with them than any of my friends. He’ll either want to leave asap because of all the noise or he’ll be extremely entertained. I can only hope I end up as funny, caring and spontaneous as my mom and her sisters.

Also it’s over half way through the 11 weeks of B being gone. I’ve been doing pretty well so far, but after seeing him last weekend all I want is to fall asleep next to him. (ok, I want to do a few other things too) It’s like a nagging craving all day and night. I’ll get to see him for a little while when they’re in town for the Detroit show next Tuesday, but he’ll be working and I really just want all his attention to myself. I think I’m getting to be attention starved. Five more weeks and he’ll be home for almost a month.