My coworkers are annoying

One of the women I work with laughs at EVERYTHING. Everything you say is funny, everything you do is funny, everything she says is funny, everything on TV is funny.

It’s gotten annoying to the point that another coworker has asked me repeatedly to punch her in the back of the head because “you’re both girls…you’re allowed to.” I suppose those are the rules, but I kinda like my job and I’m pretty sure that would get my fired however satisfying it would be.

I just don’t understand how every sentence deserves a laugh. “I got Wendy’s for lunch today” – so funny! “You made a typo” fucking hilarious!!!

While writing this I took a tally of how many times she laughed: 6:58pm to 7:05 – 14 times

Unnecessary!!

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My mom and I had planned to walk through houses tomorrow morning, but now it looks like I’m on my own. She has a bit of an issue driving herself more than 20 miles away from home unless it’s a well-traveled route to her mom’s or sisters’ houses. She assumed I would be driving. Yeah, I want to drive 25 minutes to Ferndale, 25 minutes home, and then 40 minutes to work in a span of about 30 minutes. Not to mention Ferndale is about 15 minutes from work. “How will I find my way home?” she asked. Uhhh….take the one road that goes pretty much from our house straight into Ferndale

This reminds me of when I needed a ride to the airport. Yes, I could have driven myself, but who wants to pay for parking for 5 days? Again she didn’t think she could figure out how to get home. Two highways! It’s so easy.

My mom is a very self-sufficient woman, I cannot understand how printing a map and finding her way to a location 20 miles from home can seem so difficult.

I’m the only person in this family with any sense of direction. Actually now that I think about it, I must have ended up with everyone else’s sense of direction. It’s all starting to make sense.

On a totally random note…how to all these celebrities wear such low cut tops without giving a peep show? If I wore a shirt like that and moved at all it would be like ‘hey! look at my nipples!’ Is there a lot of adhesive involved? Magnetic boobs? I need their secrets.

Hey trendy

every time i see a girl wearing those over-sized hipster granny glasses and thinking they are cool i want to punch them in the face. remember when you were 14 and you had to wear them to see and everyone made fun of you because you looked goofy…you still do. just because it’s in an american apparel ad doesn’t mean it will make you cool. it just makes you look like a big nerd who hasn’t gotten any ever.

the end.

when i got home from work today there was a big envelop with ‘do not bend’ printed on it. i assumed it was something from etsy, but i only ordered rings and that was not a ring shaped envelope. did i order something and completely forget? nope…my amazing boyfriend ordered this print for me because i loved it so much and it looks like us. yay! yay! yay!

Knock Knock…

There is a rumor going around work that I am a hilarious and terribly dirty stand up comedian. WTF? People have been stopping by my desk to ask if it’s true….random people that wouldn’t be getting together to play a joke on me. Apparently one of the directors saw someone he thought was me at a local club and has been telling everyone how funny I am. I’m not that funny and I’m definitely not that funny in front of a crowd of drunks.

Ring Tone Intervention

Today while having a conversation with my boss a coworker walked by just as his cell phone began to ring. His ring tone…Dixie Chicks. My boss and I exchange horrified glances and I yelled to said coworker that he was kicked out of the department. His excuse for having such a terrible ring tone…no one would have the same one.

As music enthusiasts Seth and I understand the importance of flaunting one’s musical tastes by way of a hip or obscure ring tone. Or one might choose to go the humor route with, as Seth suggested “I Like Big Butts.” But no, my coworker decided he could get by with the Dixie Chicks.

He was subsequently called multiple times over the next hour by my boss and other people with whom the information was shared.