Pending

Flying down the highway this morning singing along to ‘A Fine Frenzy’ I get a call from Keena – the house I was headed to see, the house I loved and was planning to make an offer on, was not showing today because it was pending. The house was possibly going to be a short sale and they aren’t interested in dealing with more than one offer, which seems ridiculous because it would drive the price up.

After reading The Secret I’m inclined to think that my freak out last night could have contributed to losing out on the house. I should have been thinking positively about getting what I wanted and instead I was wallowing in depression.

We walked through the other house I liked, but coupled with the disappointment with the first house and my general bad mood, it wasn’t looking as good and it had the first time I walked through. So it looks like I need to do some searching online and find some more houses. Balls.

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At work now and I’m really not pleased that my coworker is doing a double today, which means I’ll get to listen to his commentary on everything. This is like the laughing girl, he talks as much as she laughs. I think he gets uncomfortable when I don’t respond how he wants so he continues the story when he should have stopped.

Everything is annoying me today. Olivia told me to write down all the things that annoy or upset me, so I have a feeling I’ll fill up a couple pages today. Starting with the straw that came in my smoothie from Panera – why is it so wide?

My coworkers are annoying

One of the women I work with laughs at EVERYTHING. Everything you say is funny, everything you do is funny, everything she says is funny, everything on TV is funny.

It’s gotten annoying to the point that another coworker has asked me repeatedly to punch her in the back of the head because “you’re both girls…you’re allowed to.” I suppose those are the rules, but I kinda like my job and I’m pretty sure that would get my fired however satisfying it would be.

I just don’t understand how every sentence deserves a laugh. “I got Wendy’s for lunch today” – so funny! “You made a typo” fucking hilarious!!!

While writing this I took a tally of how many times she laughed: 6:58pm to 7:05 – 14 times

Unnecessary!!

And the winner is…

Got all dressed up – shaved my legs, French twist, sparkly dress, gold stilettos that could have been in a rap video. I headed downtown at 4, the construction on practically every street is enough to make me lose my mind. It took me a while to find the Gem, I drove around melting and dodging Tigers fans and homeless people. My car seemed exceptionally shitty next to my fancy outfit and of course was extra noisy once i pulled into the parking garage.

Once inside I met up with Seth and grabbed a gin and tonic to calm my nerves – driving around town and the thought of getting up on stage had me a little on edge. We settled at a table with a couple other people from the station and waited for the show to start. Our category was toward the beginning and just before it was announced my heart made multiple attempts to leap out of my chest. They announced the winners and Seth and I made our way on stage. I let him do the talking and held the statue. There was no way I’d be able to form a sentence with a room full of people and those blinding lights.

They sent us downstairs to pick up our Emmys and then took a graduation style photo of each of us. The rest of the award show was very long and I tried to pass the time by texting B. Jesus beat God with 3 thank yous to 2.

Mom was standing at the front door when I got home. She had already called all my relatives, my uncle said he was going to throw me a parade.

Now I’m watching TV with the rents and eating taco bell. The Emmy is on the mantle. I don’t think it will ever hit me that it’s mine. It’s the last thing I ever expected to win as a web designer, but now I want another!

Knock Knock…

There is a rumor going around work that I am a hilarious and terribly dirty stand up comedian. WTF? People have been stopping by my desk to ask if it’s true….random people that wouldn’t be getting together to play a joke on me. Apparently one of the directors saw someone he thought was me at a local club and has been telling everyone how funny I am. I’m not that funny and I’m definitely not that funny in front of a crowd of drunks.

In regards to the Wings game:

My coworkers are funny – “People are going to drunk off their asses and piss on my lawn tonight.”

Bored Blog

I’ve been pretty much bored to tears all day and haven’t had much motivation to come up with anything to entertain myself. I updated, un-updated, and re-updated various layouts on the website all day as things were being tested.

I was eating a “lightly textured crunchy multi-grain” snack, but it’s as disgusting as it sounds so my stomach will continue to growl until I get home. Which I think will be very soon since someone will not stop trying to talk to me. You’d think not turning around while responding or not responding at all would give him the hint. Nope…not at all.

Tonight will be spent finally making shirts for Race For The Cure. I was all set up and ready to go last night when I realized the iron-on transfers I’d bought were for white shirts. Balls. I’m going to go buy new ones after work, then reprint them all, and iron them on while watching Lost. I’m planning on ordering white shirts for the transfers I already printed and selling them online.

Help Desk

Apparently there is a neon sign above my desk at work that says Google, which is visible to everyone except me. Just because I work on the station website doesn’t mean my job includes answering all internet related questions.

Did you know that everyone can use Google, not just me? That’s right! So, my dear coworkers, now you don’t need to come ask me for the website/phone number/other random information…you can look it up yourself. Just go to Google.com and type into the little box and it will give you the information. Magic!

Also, just because I have the internet on my computer (as do most people in the building, including you annoying reporter person) doesn’t mean I want to send your email once a week when you can’t figure out how.

It’s not just coworkers…old people can also see this neon sign all the way from their living room couch. They call and when I answer I get a confused, way too loud “HELLOOO?!” Then they very slowly explain that they saw a story on TV weeks ago, but they don’t remember when or who reported it or really what it was about, and can I find the information. And you know what? Yes I can. I just GOOOGGGLEEE it! I’m an internet genius….don’t tell my secret!

My coworkers are funny: “I’m gonna kick your ass God almighty help you. You’re on my shit list. Shit list! Capital S H I T List.”

UPDATE: I was just asked by a coworker how to put contacts into a group on AOL…

Ring Tone Intervention

Today while having a conversation with my boss a coworker walked by just as his cell phone began to ring. His ring tone…Dixie Chicks. My boss and I exchange horrified glances and I yelled to said coworker that he was kicked out of the department. His excuse for having such a terrible ring tone…no one would have the same one.

As music enthusiasts Seth and I understand the importance of flaunting one’s musical tastes by way of a hip or obscure ring tone. Or one might choose to go the humor route with, as Seth suggested “I Like Big Butts.” But no, my coworker decided he could get by with the Dixie Chicks.

He was subsequently called multiple times over the next hour by my boss and other people with whom the information was shared.

Let’s get the Wrecking Crew together

Spent last night at Mr B’s watching the Wings and Pistons games with the Wrecking Crew. (Haven’t been called that in years, but it’s much easier than writing everyone’s names out – and Brian…I know you’re gonna make fun of me for that!) Our server appeared to be in training and had a hard time remembering what everyone ordered, which was only beer and dessert. By the end of the night he had disappeared and the woman that had been keeping an eye on him brought our last round. There was lots of gossiping and almost an impromptu trip to Drahner Rd to scare the shit out of ourselves at the monastery. (Legend has it that the monks will chase after anyone that drives up there and throw potatoes at them) Jeff managed to smell everyone and correctly identify their perfume/cologne, except me….Betsey Johnson.

Now I’m at work and Seth has noticed that everyone seems to be in a post-Memorial Day slump. I definitely don’t feel like getting anything done and am still sleepy after staying in bed until 1 for the past three days.

Talking about our life

One of my favorite parts of every day is the sing-along I have all by myself on my 40-minute commute to and from work. I love flying down the road, all the windows open, singing at the top of my lungs. I’m the person next to you at the traffic light totally rocking out all alone. Sometimes I wonder if the people in the cars near me can hear my soaring vocals. When I’m getting close to work I usually think about driving right on past.

Lately my favorite songs for my commute concert are:

Regina Spektor – That Time
MCS – It Had To Be You
Descendents – Talking
Failure – Stuck On You
Dismemberent Plan – You Are Invited
Paramore – We Are Broken
The Fags – Greatest Movie Ending